How to Get Your Husband on Your Side and Back in Love with You

How to Get Your Husband on Your Side and Back in Love with You

How to Get Your Husband on Your Side and Back in Love with You

Are you and your husband at a crossroads in your marriage? These are probably not the first signs of stress you've experienced as a couple, but perhaps they are the most significant. You might have been married for quite some time, maybe even with kids around the house.

Perhaps financial pressures have taken their toll on your relationship. Perhaps there is someone else in his life which is challenging your position as his primary partner. Or maybe it's just that every marriage goes through ups and downs, but yours has dipped more than usual lately.

Most likely, some combination of these factors has created a strain between the two of you that needs to be acknowledged, understood, and addressed before it worsens.

The Importance of Being on the Same Page

If you have children at home, you know how critical it is to have a united front regarding their upbringing and the messages they receive about life and relationships. If there is discord in your household, your kids may suffer greatly—not only from the stress of feeling like their parents are pulling against each other but also from the messages that discord sends about handling relationship problems.

You might feel that you and your husband are on opposite ends of the rope and are pulling away from each other rather than working together as a team. The stress can be overwhelming, especially if you feel responsible for reuniting your family.

Resolving Trust Issues

If you've discovered that your husband has been unfaithful, you'll have to resolve legitimate feelings of betrayal and decide whether you can trust him moving forward. 

Unfortunately, millions of women find themselves in this position each year, although it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. If you have had a significant change in your financial situation, you may have changed your spending priorities in ways that have caused your husband to feel unimportant to you. 

You may not have realized how much your actions have undermined his self-esteem. If one of you has been unemployed for a while, taking on the burden of household responsibilities with no support from the other, it's easy to feel like you're carrying the whole load. Even if your husband doesn't do much around the house, his lack of participation may feel like a rejection to you.

Negotiate Some Changes Together

Try to negotiate some changes with your husband to ease the stress on your relationship. If you've been spending more than he has been bringing in, talk about how you can bring things back to a more equitable balance. When there are children at home, you can't expect your husband to make up for your shortcomings with the kids just because he's a guy. Getting outside support is critical to regaining your footing if you feel overwhelmed or resentful. If he is feeling disrespected by your actions or your words, you can repair the damage with a simple apology.

Find Activities That Help You Connect Again

Find activities that help you reconnect with each other. Many of the problems in your relationship probably have to do with communication problems. 

The relationship suffers when you and your husband stop communicating and start communicating with each other. When you start communicating again, the relationship can improve. 

There are many ways to improve communication in your marriage. The two of you can go out on a date. You can make time to do something together that you both enjoy. You can sit down and have regular conversations about what is going on in your life and how you feel about things. 

You can try to do something each week to show your spouse that you are thinking about him and want to strengthen your relationship.

Set Some Boundaries Together

When one partner has been taking on all the responsibilities and the other has been doing nothing, it's easy for resentment to set in. Regardless of who has been doing what, you and your husband need to set boundaries so that resentment doesn't fester. If one or both of you have some unresolved issues from your past, you also need to work on healing together so that you don't bring your baggage into your marriage. 

There are many ways to heal your past and set boundaries in your present. You can go to therapy together or separately and work on dealing with your issues. You can use journaling or creative writing to process your feelings. 

You can also do activities that help bring you closer as a couple, like taking a walk or watching a movie together.

What Is Happening Inside Your Marriage?

A lot of what is happening inside your marriage may be a matter of simple communication. You may not be talking to each other enough and allowing misunderstandings to pile up. You may be talking in ways that create more distance between you instead of bringing you closer together. You may be talking but not communicating in a way your husband can hear. Your relationship may need more help than this. 

If you've been together for a long time, you may need help to discover why there is so much stress. Perhaps you need to look inside yourself to discover why you have less patience than usual with your husband right now. 

You may look at your husband and see things you don't like.

Why Has the Love Been Lost?

You've probably lost some of the love in your relationship because you're human. Maybe you've been so focused on other things that love just hasn't been on the top of your priority list. Maybe some of the things you've been dealing with are so stressful that love can't survive. 

You can do many things to regain the love in your relationship and bring the stress down to a manageable level. You can start spending more time with each other. You can start talking to each other again. 

You can start adjusting your expectations so that each of you gets what you need out of the relationship. You can forgive each other for your mistakes and start letting go of resentments holding you back.

Bottom line

Above all, remember that you and your husband have a long and happy future together if you want to get back on track together. 

You can steer your relationship in a positive direction, but you and your partner will have to put in the effort to make it happen. It won't happen automatically, and it won't happen overnight. But if you want to get back on track and stay on track, you must be committed to making it happen.

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